How To Become a Japanese Wife

If anything, don’t show your hands. Keep them clean and hidden. Oversized pockets are lazy when your back curves in such a way as to hold them in place, provided you assume good posture.

Stand tall. Nod, correct, and erect when your husband says, “model posture!”. Mirrors are vain - puddles mundane. Understand the efforts of the sun while seeking shade. Remember that a spider in daylight is welcome - in evening, an intruder.

Fear nothing smaller than yourself, but if so pray your face be white as the moon. Bleach under the auspices of aloe. Never mistake balm for beauty, but do heed its duty. Trust your neighbors, but not their neighbors. Bow in accordance to rank, never need.

Do so from the diaphragm. Release like a leaden plank, careful to remove any hardware that welcomes recoil. Dip with the weight of a pirates bounty on your back. Lower yourself to the ocean waters of an opt-in baptism. Find a fish of substantial size and emulate its spine.

Always be wary of nets.